Happily ever after
by SW
Summary: Sequel to "Fatal love" deals with suicide and mourning --Sasunaru


Happily ever after

By SW

 This could be considered the Sequel to "Fatal love" although clearly written in a completely different style, which is why I don't consider it a second chapter. If you hadn't read the first one you should, it will all make more sense. There is gayness ahead and angst always angst.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was woken up this morning by Kakashi; he told me Naruto had jumped off a cliff. They said it was suicide, he had trashed his apartment and scrawled on the walls. Leaving his final mark a desperate plea that had been found to late. 

_"I'm tired of being alone"_

I went to the memorial service with everyone else, our Hokage Tsunade was drunk and had to be escorted from the room because she through a fit in the middle of the progression. Sakura spent the whole time sobbing loudly clutching at Ino and Lee who seemed grave and just a little tearful. Iruka was there too and I think he cried the loudest at all, like a woman who had lost her only child. It churned my stomach to watch him weep so pathetically. Kakashi was as visually unmoved as ever, except for maybe the fact he's hands were fisted so tightly his knuckles were white, but that may have been my imagination. The 3rd hokages brat of a grandson was there too, he was trying to be strong but tears kept rolling down his face and his nose was running. Hinata looked sick to her stomach, her pale features gaunt and waxen, circles beneath her pupil less eyes which looked red and puffy. But she didn't cry openly, perhaps trying to appear brave. Shikamaru had remained quiet and a little angry much like Kiba and Neiji, but they all remained respectively silent. All clearly wanted to know why, why had someone who had be grudgingly earned their respect do some thing so stupid so clearly "un-Naruto". Actually all the other teachers were there, none really mourning Naruto himself but mourning the loss of a young life so senselessly snubbed out. They couldn't mourn him, they hadn't known him, so they paid their respects and felt sympathy for those who had known the infamous trouble maker. 

They hadn't really known him, not like I did, no one did. But that was my secret. I couldn't tell if I should be glad Naruto left no mention to me, addressed nothing to me gave me no acknowledgement in his passing. Maybe its better that way since no one knows of our "involvement", although I think Kakashi has his suspicions. But no evidence to prove it. So the secret seems to have followed Naruto to the grave, or to my grave as it were. I hadn't said anything since that cloudy morning, it had drizzled all day the weather matching the town's mood. Kakashi gave me the information for the funeral, but I had never really answered and he didn't seem to expect me to. But I was asked to say something at the wake, and as I stood and looked out at all those people it was all so surreal. It didn't seem real when I heard my self say in my usual frosty monotone, _"He was a fuck up." _And I couldn't bring myself to care about the looks of horror and anger that crossed the mourner's faces, didn't care about the angry hush and mutters of disgust. Nor the explosive response it invoked from that brat Konoharumaru, who started screaming on the top of his lunges and had to be restrained from charging the stage and taking a swing at me. Eventually his screaming gave way to wailing and finally broken sobs. And I didn't react later on after the service when he managed to strike me across the face.

 The others helped carry out the body, those who were almost friends almost comrades to a young man who they had only recently stop shunning. They have no right to judge me for my indifference, my coldness. Because they didn't know him, they knew nothing of the boy who had grown up without friends.

             After the coffin was lowered into the ground and buried, I wandered around the village without purpose, eventually finding my self back at his grave stone. It occurred to me I would have liked to see his twisted broken body before they buried him, it would have made him seem less alive in my memories. Like he had been in my last memories of him, the night before when we had messed around. I wonder if they had let Iruka see him, what he had done to himself, maybe that's why he had been crying so hard. Iruka always did strike me as someone who had a weak stomach. 

For reasons not even I fully understand, I felt compelled to kneel there on the freshly dug soil. I don't know how long I was there, but I was shaken from my daze when Kakashi shook my shoulder roughly. Telling me to go home, but I just stared at him blankly not quite ready to leave. I wanted to watch and make sure Naruto really was in fact dead, not just waiting there for me to let my guard down so he play some sort of joke at my expense.   Our teacher's usually impassive eyes softened just a bit at my resolute silence, you'd almost think he pitied me. Eventually he gave up and left me to my vigil, even Sakura seemed afraid to talk to me, wisely keeping her distance.

  At some point I collapsed, sprawled over my former lover's grave. With barely enough energy to curl my fingers in the cold earth that held none of the warmth Naruto had once had. A realization that almost made me want to cry, almost because Sasuke avenger of the Uchiha clan would never cry. Not for a comrade, not a friend and certainly not a lover. No matter how important they may or may not have been, there was no reason for me to feel so hopelessly alone. I had been alone since Itachi killed my family, alone since I killed Itachi, Naruto's suicide shouldn't have made a difference. I'd never consider that perhaps this was caused by me, I wouldn't think about all the "maybe's" and "what if's". Because it wouldn't make a difference and I didn't care enough to try. I wasn't mourning, I'd never mourn such a screw up and I'd never cry for him. 

 So why was I trembling?

All I could say for sure as there was no such thing as a happily ever after.

-End-

_--------------------------------------

I hadn't planned on writing this, kind of just gnawed on me till I caved and put it on paper or computer as it were. Originally I had wanted to leave "Fatal Love" with an undetermined ending, I still do kind of wish it was. Which oddly enough I was working on an "alternate" companion piece for. But also I hadn't really written anything from Sasuke, so I think it was a good reference for me to draw upon in the future. I still need to update my current chapter fic "Lonely Streets" but shorts are so much easier to work on. -_-


End file.
